Classroom Commotion: a zealous 2nd grader

Today a second grade student came into my classroom after school. I was still at my desk working on an example for a high school project. She sweetly said, "I want to make an artwork." Well shoot! I made her a space right next to me. I asked what she wanted use. Crayons? Markers? Colored Pencils? She replied, "Hah, all of them."

Now what's an art teacher to do but let her just go for it! So we went to art-making side by side. Both of us were working on creating a butterfly and we had a lovely chat while we were doing it. We discussed the shapes and colors we were using, the size of each part, and she even gave me a little feedback on my wing details! As we were talking, I told her that I was leaving Doulos after this year and she let the comment kind of fall to the side. Then about 10 minutes later she said, "Do you want to do this when you go? You can always make art in your house when you leave."

Ah my heart!

I told her that what I really loved most was making art with students like her, but that I don't know what God has in store for me. But geeze do I pray that He might allow me to always have students like this to create alongside.

To hear stories about some other zealous students you can read here and here.

Classroom Commotion: She got accepted to college!

As of this year I have my own art classroom (you can read about it here.) For a good portion of the day it's filled to the brim with classes of all shapes and sizes. I also have a little hallway with cabinets for storage and an work space off the side of that hallway. Usually during my planning periods I am huddled back at my desk grading, creating resources, and preparing materials. The hallway also has another feature-- it connects my classroom to the high school Spanish and Sociales classroom. I get my fair share of Dominican history or Spanish literature notes from what I can overhear through the door as I am sure the other teacher also gets her fair share of art-making racket from my side.

One day, however, I got another surprise under the doorway...I got passed a note during class :)

This lovely student of mine got accepted to one of her first choice colleges! Wahoooooo!

This year I have been walking alongside the senior class (read more about that here). Their efforts towards contemplating what comes after high school as well as the resulting college applications are a main topic of conversation between us. Going abroad to attend a university is a pretty big accomplishment for students from the DR and something some our Doulos students are working really hard for. The piles of paperwork, impending deadlines, need for scholarships, and the waiting (oh the waiting!) are a lot to juggle on top of their school work. The unknowns can wear them down sometimes.

But then there are these moments to celebrate! When the efforts and waiting have paid off, the news from a university can be so sweet! And what is even sweeter for me, a teacher and mentor, is when I am invited in to share this struggle and joy. I get to know about the complications in the paper work, when the deadlines are, how much scholarship money has been awarded and how much is still needed, and how many days there are still to wait. One of the things I will be grieving the most about leaving this school is leaving the daily connections with and close relationships I have with my students. I know I will keep in contact with some of the older students and I know there are other relationships to be built in the future, but for right now...I just, gosh darn it, love these kids.

Waiting for the Light, Part 3

λάμπει - to shine or to give forth light

The privilege is all mine when it comes to walking alongside this year's senior class at Doulos. They are class full of character and characters. I have taught many of them in my high school art elective classes and devotional classes, but this year mi esposo and I are their guide teachers. In school this means we lead their devotional class three days a week and help them coordinate their special events. But beyond this school schedule, we have found ourselves walking with some really kindred spirits.

As I have gotten to know this particular group of students over the years, I have realized these students are fire balls. And when you put them together they are an even larger, brighter, hotter, faster burning ball of flames. Ten minutes in the room with them and you will quickly see they are passionate and quick. Just like fire they can give beautiful warmth when set up correctly and painful burns when not. So when it came time to choose their class theme, I was not surprised when they offered up the idea of the "Lamplighters".

At the beginning of the year our graduating high school class hosted a promoción (a Dominican custom at most high schools). Essentially this is a presentation of the senior class and a time to unveiled their theme during a special evening.

Matthew 5.14-16 reads, "You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden; nor does anyone light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light shine before people in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven."

I can't express the joy and love I feel as I see these students individually and collectively understand their unique personality and gifts as people who ignite, propel, and transform. And not only understand this, but declare it, and desire to harness it as their mission upon exiting this stage of life and entering the next. There is an crazy amount of waiting involved in any time of transition. The "Lamplighters", however, are chasing hard after what is ahead.

This is my last year at Doulos, just like it is for the seniors. Daily these students are contemplating, preparing for, and praying through their next phase. Not only do I get to do all those things with them, but I am doing them for myself at the same time. The unknowns of the next and next and next are equally mysterious and looming to me as they are to the students I am with. This solidarity is the most incredible blessing. As much as I am proud to support and stand behind these amazing seniors as their teacher and mentor, I feel equally as blessed to share in life with them as their friend.

Waiting for the Light, Part 2

"The authority over all the world [Jesus Christ] has its beginning in the very lowliness and weakness of the child...He accepts and carries the humble, the lowly, and sinners, but he rejects and brings to nothing the proud, the haughty, and the righteous. (Luke 1.51-52)" -- God is in the Manger, Dietrich Bonhoeffer

I know I have expressed this before, but teaching young kids was never something I thought I would find myself doing as part of my job, let alone enjoying. There have been some sweet moments when I have connected with particular little ones over the course of these past three and a half years. (You can read about a couple of them here and here.) However, on the whole I have come to realize what power this kids have to impact the adults around them. They cause me to face parts of myself I try to hide, they humble me, they stretch me, they show me joy and authenticity.

Let's be honest, I don't remember the name or face of my elementary art teacher. And now that I am one of those teachers, it makes me kind of sad to think that many Doulos students will not remember me down the road. Because surely I am going to remember the majority of them! I love these little suckers! The way that Doulos is set up I teach all the grade levels of visual arts. So year after year I get to continue my relationships with all the students and, the best part, watch them grow into their unique selves.

There always are certain students that catch my eye or tug a little extra fuerte on my heart strings. A few friends and I have termed this phenomenon, "heart child". I have a couple "heart children" at Doulos. Essentially, I am a fan of these kids. Not only do I find them just plain endearing but I want to know them when they are middle schoolers, dream with them when they are high schoolers, and watch them succeed beyond their school education.

We have some pretty incredible students at Doulos, like for realz these kids are going to have large impacts on their communities (like they already are!). They are little lights that are going to keep burning brighter and brighter, I pray, to shine Truth, Hope, and Justice in this world. May we listen and care for these kiddos as the precious lights they are, full of potential and possibility.

Waiting for the Light, Part 1

"What has come into being in Him was life, and the life was the light of all people. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not overcome it... The one who is the true light, who gives light to everyone, was coming into the world." John 1

My friend Emily wrote a blog post about what it is like for us to wait for the coming of the Light-- you can read it here. She relates the anticipation of the Advent season to a daily event here in the DR (and probably many other parts of the world). It sums up a lot of what I have learned about Advent in the past couple years. Essentially we are in a perpetual Advent waiting for Christ's return to bring the New Heavens and New Earth. God fulfilled his promise as spoken through his prophets (check the book of Isaiah) in coming near to us through the God-man, Jesus of Nazareth, and in whom has offered redemption to all human kind. I believe that he will do the same again to complete the fruition of his Kingdom as he has promised.

Keith and I have been blessed to observe this season with various friends in our community in our home every Sunday. We have prayed, we have sung, we have smirked at the kids fascinated by candle flames, we have shared our pondering on the Mighty God in the miserable manger, we have served the Lord's Supper to one another. Most significant to me has been mediating on the light of the candles in our Advent wreath.

Because of my slight pyromaniac urges, I just want to light all the candles at once and make them burn faster and stronger. However this is the exact opposite purpose of the sequential lighting of the wreath. Each candle is lit in turn, each with great meaning.

We watch and wait. We watch and wait. We watch and wait.

But just like God brings the sunrise each morning and the sunset each night, the Light cycles through our world as glimpses and reminders that one day there will be no more darkness. The eternal Light will shine in full glory and everlasting brilliance. And we will cry out in praise..."¡Llegó la Luz!"

Classroom Commotion: Here we go, Year Four!

Every year I think the excitement of the first day of school will surely pass me by. Not only have I passed through my own set of primary, secondary, and university first days, but now as a teacher I still have one every August. And every August I can't help but get really really excited about it! Crisp pencils and notebooks, organized classrooms, new outfits (a personal favorite), and of course refreshed minds.

Keith and I know ahead of time that this year, numero cuatro, will be our last one working and serving at Doulos. (Don't worry, I won't get all mushy now, there will be plenty of that later.) God knows are hearts well, in fact, He knows them better than we do. He knew that it is better for us to know now that this year will be full of our "lasts". 

Especially for me, I need a lot of time to warm up to big changes. I am not a band-aid ripper off-er. I am a slow and meticulous peeler of the band-aid. With each itch of hurt, I need to pause, breathe, contemplate, pray, take a sip of coffee, walk around the block, and then keep going. I consider it a blessing, a testament to God's care for me, that I have a whole year to wrap my head and heart around an impending set of hard good-byes; a whole final year to love hard and wholly a community that has branded me.  

For other people, I am sure that they would prefer to rip the band-aid. They would wince, tear, and then could move on. The temptation either way is to get the hard stuff over with and get on with what comes next. 

While Keith and I traveled to back to the States this summer we both couldn't help but think about living there again. However at the end of our trip, after talking with many friends, family, and supporters, it was clear that God wasn't going to let our hearts and minds slip away from Doulos so quickly. God has given us a lot to look forward to this coming year. Keith is set up to write a scaffolded ESL curriculum for 3rd-12th grade, and hopefully pilot the first ever high school ESL program-- something he has hoped for since the beginning. Also, for the first year ever, I get to teach in my very own visual arts classroom and enjoy the benefits of a newly allocated visual arts budget-- evidence of my arts advocacy that I never thought I would see the fruit of. And on top of it all, we both will be leading the morning devotional class for the seniors. We are ready to explore with them how their education will pair with God's calling for them after graduation.

I am grateful for all ways God has so clearly walked ahead of us and with us into this first day today. But not only is this the first day of a very exciting fourth year, but it is the first of our "lasts" in this beautiful place, dynamic school, and passionate community.

My loves love each other

Confession #1: I'm a sucker for cats. It's true. Keith warns me sometimes about becoming a weird cat-lady. But I can't help it, I'm a sucker and I'll willing admit it. And I'm especially a sucker for the little gato that I call my own-- Horatio. If I had a smart phone and one of those quick and easy photo sharing apps, you would probably be disgusted by all the pictures of my cat. Lucky for you I'm tacaña and afraid of new technology.

Confession #2: My gato loves my husband more than me and I have come to terms with this reality. Sometimes I get really jealous that my gato would rather sit on my husband's lap than cuddle on mine. Even though I clearly adore him more. However, at the same time, I find the relationship of these two snuggle-buddies quite amusing. Let me show you...

Horatio was once a tiny lil guy, and fit quite comfortably in one's lap.

Now Horatio is a little larger and likes to sneak up on you.

EVERY TIME, literally every time, Keith lays on the couch Horatio tries to lay on his chest.

And even when Horatio clearly does not fit so comfortably anymore...he still makes room for himself on Keith's lap.

I know it makes me kind of pathetic to write a blog post about my cat and husband. But I am that much of a sucker for these two. I really love that my loves love each other.

Opening

This year I am once again working up a whole new curriculum for the HS visual art elective. Based on some things I have been learning personally as a growing "artist", I am trying to make this semester's elective class an opportunity for more experimentation and exploration-- I have even come to call the class "Liberating Our Creativity", because that's how I've been experiencing this personal search and process.

Our first couple days consisted in making a class constitution. Rather than coming up with rules myself, I wanted the students to decide what would make the class the most productive and safe for them to be open and motivated. I love what they came up with.

I am super excited to walk alongside these students in their search for their own creative habits and artistic process. Already they have impressed me with their openness and willingness to take on the assignments and challenges I've posed so far. 

Part of what this class is going to require is vulnerability among the students and myself. It is intimidating and scary to put your art work out there for others to see and critique. Especially when we are only en camino to having a developed identity as an artist. I have made a promise to myself that if I'm going to ask my students to open up their sketchbooks and introspective reflections to the rest of our class, then I need to step up to that challenge myself. So I present to you, my sketchbook...

Actually, hold on. Before I do that let me show you my inspiration for the following pages. If you will remember, this summer I was in search of my muse. During that time I discovered that another one of my "go-to" places for inspiration is antique shops. I love the histories and artifacts collected from all around. While making the rounds through the old stomping grounds, I stumbled upon a little display of antique goodies. 

And now here's what I've got ...

summer searching

Keith and I are on the tail end of another busy summer. We were back in the home state for a few weeks and soaked up a ton of love and fellowship. Our sentiments about being the states and coming back for year #3 in the DR were rollercoaster-esque. Although, when it came time for us to be back in our own home, we were definitely ready for it. And now that we are dusting off the shelves and getting prepared for another year of teaching, I feel down right good about it.

I consider myself a pretty content person; content with what I'm given and not usually itching for much more than that. However, I think I have begun to tap into a new curiousness within me (or Keith is just rubbing off on me). Around this time last year, Keith asked me what my dreams for myself were. I was kind of shocked as I pondered a few days about this and realized I could not define any dreams, or maybe I was a little too fearful to name them. So over this past year I've been gradually itching my way out of that fear and trying to dip my toe into what dreams God and I can conger up together.

This next part might seem very unrelated, but in essence I think it has a lot to do with what I just said. Beyond our "summer of" smoothies, I have personally had a "summer of" finding my muse, searching for what inspires me creatively. Here's one thing that I found...

the prairie

...the illumination

...the sun setting and rising

...the wildflowers

...and the expanse

hopefully soon, I can take these and the many other artifacts of inspiration and put them to use. I'll let you know when I do.

Doing and Becoming

These past months have been full of activities, per usual. I think every time I sit down to write I think that same thing.

Though this most recent weekend, we were at home. I journaled that I was blessed to have a real and full Sabbath.  Much of our lives here are defined by all that we do. We teach, we disciple, we go here and there, we plan, we prepare, we hope, love and trust, we commune and share, and at the end of it all I realize I also try to do a lot more than that. Myself, and a few other Doulos teachers were blessed by the opportunity to attend the Expeditionary Learning National Conference in Denver a couple weeks ago.  With all the networking and sharing with other educators in the growing EL community, our unique school and missions often rose to the top of our conversations (especially when they heard we fundraised our own salaries, haha!). It was clear that what we “do” was considered out-of-the-ordinary.

By day three of hearing, “Oh, the Dominican Republic…that’s cool. I didn’t know there was an EL school there. Are you from there? How did you end up there?” I actually was getting annoyed with telling my story, our story. Every time that annoyance would strike in my heart, a pang of guilt tailed it. I should be rejoicing at another chance to tell someone about the sweet mission God has called me to. The first 20 people that asked me about it I probably responded with joy, but my pleasant sentiments began to fade.

Why did my heart change after a while? Why was I tiring of telling people what I do, what our school does? I still don’t fully know. But I am guessing a touch of selfish energy, a tendency to shy from attention, and a feeling of inconsistency had something to do with it.

We definitely do a lot at Doulos. But that’s not the whole picture. Our ideals are sky high, heavenly high, and our hope and drive are likewise strung on those heights.  This makes for some good stories—ones where God must be the main actor. But daily do I take the time to see out into that? Sometimes yes, sometimes no.

My story at Doulos includes “equipping and educating servant leaders through Christian discipleship and expeditionary learning to impact the Dominican Republic”. It includes seeing God provide in perfect timing, witnessing students succeed beyond anyone’s expectations, and connecting my life with the lives of this community. But it also includes watching students lose their scholarships because of failing grades, hearing more of broken families that healthy ones, shaking off the fear of burglary, swallowing pride and doses of doubt.

I guess what I am trying to say is that what I do, the tangible evidence of my life here, is not always congruent with what is happening to me, what I am thinking or feeling, or what I see around me. Our mission and ideals are what we are shooting for; they keep us motivated towards the goal. The clean and ripe fruit of that work isn't always seen or tasted simultaneously.

What I do is only in effort to become the salt of the earth and a city on a hill. At Doulos we try to keep a perspective (not always successfully) that the product isn’t necessarily more important that the process.  What I do is definitely a process.

Now, hopefully not to contradict myself too much, here are some snapshots of my student and I’s “process”…

5th grade photo essays about their trip to a Batey on a sugar plantation

2nd grade Australian animal costumes

9th grade graphic timeline of poetry, events, and artworks

the lovely HS elective students and I in their final gallery show.
I'm going to devote a whole post to them later....

He is flinging open doors, hearts, and eyes

I’ve been reminded again recently that God does not need us to be here or work here. He has given us an invitation and a blessing to allow us to serve alongside of him in bringing his Kingdom. It is in fact, in spite of us sometimes, that all of that is even accomplished. How often though do I really consider my work as a blessing? I confess that daily I usually fail to do so. However I am trying to change my outlook at the source—in a deeper place inside of me, with a lifestyle of gratitude.

A few things that linger in my heart that I am thankful for…
- Small surprise parties planned by students for my husband
- Waking up across from a window that views the sunrise over the mountains
- The lush textures and colors that fill the bowl on my kitchen counter after a trip to the veggie market
- A home that does not leak or flood when it rains. A lot.
- Being remembered by name by acquaintances from the past
- Simultaneous, God-given revelations to spouses
- Walking streets of great history
- Sweet scents of freshly baked bread

I could list more. I have so many thoughts and lessons I am learning that are jumbled together in my mind. It is a struggle to find a concise way to organize them or even capture one of them in a way that doesn’t require the depth of explanation of all the connections with the others.





       
     

for service week at the end of February, Keith and I worked with the senior class to create  a mural for the new preschool building at a public school in a near by community that Doulos has built a relationship with.

                 

Margins

I completed my first zumba session yesterday, and today the only part of me that is sore is my arms. I’m perplexed by how such a level of cardio and hip and abdominal gyrating would result in only my arms feeling like they had a work out.

Last year, for a high school fitness class, every Friday afterschool a zumba workout was held via dvd. I was usually envious that my schedule would not permit me to participate. However, this new year has enabled me to enthusiastically attend these zumba “classes”. Yesterday the only people to finish out the session were myself, our amazing zumba-fanatic principal, the kindergarten assistance teacher, and a 10^th grade young woman with an outstanding attitude and gorgeous hair all the way down her back—perfect for the zumba flava.

I am optimistic that as more staff and students see how fabulous we look trying to mimic the salsa queens on the video, they will be enticed to join us.

...................................................

I am trying to protect the margins in my life. For some reason when I say margins I think of my friend, Graham. As I look back, I believe there was a time when I must have heard Graham speaking of the margins in his life and I recall feeling unaware of what that looked like or what it even meant to have margins.

Over the past year and a half I think that I have come to understand what Graham must have been talking about. There will never be enough time, you must take time. It is beyond just being disciplined in a particular moment or day, taking time to live a life with margins requires planning and really a whole new lifestyle. Of course, there is the requisite of “saying no”. But often when I “say no” to a fuller agenda, my heart and mind are just as fragmented and hurried than if I were to be actually doing those things I said no to.

Last night during a discussion with some other married couples around this same topic, my friend quoted Richard Foster in posing the question—would you answer your cell phone if you were already in a conversation with the One True God? Because the odds are whatever that phone call was about could really be taken up at another moment; it could stand to wait in line after your conversation with your Creator.

As it turns out this morning, during my time of prayer and reading, my phone rang.
And without a second thought, I walked to the other room and answered it.

When I sat back down, my friend’s question and our concurrent discussion about taking time and making space in our hearts and minds came back to my thoughts.

Classroom Commotion: Firsts of the Second

after two and a half weeks of reunions, reminders, refreshers, and lots of preparation...the staff of Doulos brings you ---The First Day of School.


Many people have asked how I feel about going into my second year of teaching. In one regard, compared to last year, I feel really ready and equipped! In the other, less relative regard, I feel excited and anxious, and still very confident that the Lord has some great things planned for our students this year. It is in his hands.

During our return to the DR after our visit to Kansas in July, I felt conflicted in all the callings God was pressing into my heart. Mostly I was nervous about departing from my family. But God squelched all worries as we were embraced back into our community and mission in Jarabacoa. There is a sweet aroma in reunions of friends that are family. Last year, like most people when then move to a new place and start new jobs, we struggled through not being known.
However in returning for our second year it is every evident that we are known in this community now. We have shared experiences, aligned hearts and minds, and our eyes cast on the same thing.

The Doulos Staff*

The greetings and hugs from our students also are a great help in making us feel known here.
This year, we know our students and they already trust us. The DR is an extremely relational culture. This makes the patterns of international mission work (many people coming in and out) taxing for people that put a lot of emphasis on relational loyalty. In the long term, that reality scares me because I too dislike it when people come and go. Although in the short term, I love my students (all ~250 of them) and I love continuing the relationships I've started with them. From the giddy little first graders to the dramatic high schoolers, God has filled me with joy to be around them again and has blessed me to be able to love and serve them again.

*The picture of the staff was taken two weeks ago, in front of the mural that myself and a few talented others created at a public school. It was one of many projects we did during our staff service day.

a few celebrations...and the tour de france totally ripped off my motto.

to celebrate the conclusion of our first year in the DR, Keith surprised me with a lovely dinner on the roof of our house, complete with a mountain sunset. We have access to our roof via some stairs in the backyard. It is the perfect place to get a view of the mountains to the south of us and the fields surrounding the rest of our house. We definitely don't go up there enough.

to celebrate my father's heart being restored to good health, God gave my parent's house the best views of Kansas summer sunsets in all of the flint hills. I love returning to my parents house where it truly feels like I am in Kansas again. The porches there are probably some of my favorite spots out of everywhere I've traveled. Peace abounds when I gaze out at the hills and clouds.

and to celebrate Keith and I's first anniversary, we biked a century. 100 miles for year 1. Now we decided to do this because we resolved to do something "extreme" for each of our anniversaries-- to make it more memorable and because we just did. So after tossing around a few ideas, we were inspired by our dear friends J. and S. Ramm and Keith's parents (who also completely outfitted us for this adventure with all of their gear, including lending us their bike). We rode 50 miles down to Council Grove, stayed the night at a quaint B&B and rode the 50 miles back. I think what made this the most extreme, is that we were very untrained for this type of activity. but! we did it! and my new motto....

 

pain is temporary, glory is eternal